Ween: verb (used with object), verb (used without object) Archaic . 1. to think; suppose. 2. to expect, hope, or intend.

When I picked the next disc off the wall (blindly of course) I said, "I don't even have to listen to this. I know this CD like the back of my hand". However, 'dems the rules'. I've got to follow the rules. And wouldn't you know it, the 5th CD review for this crazy blog ALSO happens to be the 5th studio release from one of my top 10 favorite groups that is constantly in heavy rotation; Ween.

1996's 12 Golden Country Greats is a mixture of oddball lyrics fused with some of the best country music and delivers an album that is sometimes beyond words for me.

I love weird music. Many will say that some of Ween's music is exactly that. However I partially disagree. True their earlier work was chocked full of quirky sounds featuring two friends from New Hope, PA experimenting with a tape deck and a drum machine, but over the years they have blossomed into really good musicians.

I first came across Ween in 1992 when I bought Pure Guava on cassette during the "Push the Lil Daisies" craze. I was hooked ever since. As with any other group I liked, I had to collect them all; and I did. During high school and most of college nobody that I really hung out with really enjoyed Ween the way that I did so you could say the group was mostly a private pleasure. However while working on college radio I had the pleasure of interviewing the band at a local show in Birmingham in 1999. My buddy Geoff got us access to interview the Ween boys backstage before their legendary show featuring a very young Queens of the Stone Age as the opening act. We most spoke with Dean Ween, the lead guitarist, about where the band was and where they were going. It was a phenomenal night.

After that, I went deep into Ween-lore and discovered the band's passion for the weird and "brown" as they like to call it. Being "brown" to me means being so bad, it's good or dirty so to speak. Now I could go on about Ween all day, but I have to get back on track.

12 Golden Country Greats consists of 10 country tunes that makes for a rip roarin' good time. So if there are only 10 tracks, why is it called 12 Golden Country Greats? Well I'm glad you asked. The 12 refers to the phenomenal line up of musicians that grace this record. Some have also said that 2 tracks were left on the cutting room floor, but I like the musician theory. More on that later. Let's start from the top.

"I'm Holding You" kicks the record off on a very slow note with drowning pedal steel guitar and Gene Ween's sorrowful vocals in a traditional country fashioned love song. "I'm holdin, something more precious than, fire ore baby, I'm holdin' you". Romantical ain't it? Johnny Cash could've owned this cut.

Track 2, "Japanese Cowboy", is all about things that don't seem right together. "Like a Japanese cowboy, or a brother on skates. Like a blizzard in Georgia, or a train runnin' late" are chorus lyrics that give you a giggle and fires up the heat on the album; especially with a mean fiddle squealing away. That's how you do it son.

The ever popular track "Piss up a Rope" is a country rockin tune that pays homage to every country tune before it that features a story about a man with woman troubles. This tune was also featured in the move U-Turn staring Sean Penn. Weird movie, funny song. I recommend it.

"I Don't Wanna Leave You on the Farm" is an easy country swinger that moves right into place within the rest of the record. Think of it as an easy tune from Loretta Lynn song, with a peppy swing.

"Pretty Girl" is a truck drivin' George Jones tune that moves and groves along the highway.

And then there's "Powder Blue". A simple tune about another pretty girl that just so happens to be powder blue. "Powder blue. She's powder blue. What can you do? She's powder blue".

This is probably one of my favorites on this CD because each main player gets a fabulous solo; including Muhammed Ali. What? Muhammed Ali? Yes, the original release of this song includes an exert of a speech Ali gave and is dropped in as if his voice was a solo in the band. This version was cut from the record once Ali's lawyers heard about it and the band had to repress the CD's to omit Ali's speech. Thankfully I have an original copy and get to enjoy Ali's solo during every listen. Gene Ween introduces the players before their solos in the following fashion:

"Bobby Ogdin on the piano ... Thanks, Bobby

Mr. Charlie Mccoy, harmonica ... Ah, Charlie
Russ Hicks, steel guitar...
And ladies & gentlemen, I'd like to present: Muhammed Ali:
"Everybody stop talking now, I tell ya....I told you, all of my critics, I told you all that I was the greatest of all time...
Now just listen...I told you today, I'm still the greatest of all time...never again defeat me...never again say that I'm going to be defeated...never again bet and make me an underdog, until I'm about 50 years old. Then you might get me. But I didn't dance, I didn't dance for a reason. I wanted to make him lose all his power, I kept tellin' he had no punch, he couldn't hit, he swang like a sissy, he's missin', let me see you box, I hadn't start dancin' yet! You can't say my legs are gone, you can't say I was tired, because what happened? I didn't dance from the second round on. I stayed on the ropes. When I stay on the ropes, you think I'm doin' bad. But I want all boxers to put this in the page of boxing: staying on ropes is a beautiful thing with a heavyweight when you make him shoot his best shot, and you know he's not hittin' ya. I would've gave George Foreman two rounds of steady punchin', because after that he was mine."

The next track to me is not too much of a country tune, but more of a swing jazz tune. "Mr. Richard Smoker" is a smoker of a track indeed. Probably the most played in Ween's live rotation off of this record, "Smoker" is an entire insult song. "Mister Richard Smoker, you're an Ono Yoker" or "Mister Richard Smoker, you're a chicken choker" tells most of the story. Smoke!

"Help Me Scrape the Mucus Off My Brain" is the 'my woman left me' country ballad off this release. I can easily see Conway Twitty holding this one up too. Lyrics like "I think I spent the dog food money" just have a Conway ring to it to me. I highly enjoy singing and playing this tune on my acoustic guitar.

"You Were the Fool" brings another slow tune to the record, but in a really good way. Willie Nelson could make this is own. The chorus:

"Think about it turn around
and go back to the quiet sound
while Jim and Dan prancin' round the pool
you were the fool
and i feel sorry for you
you were the fool

but there's something you can do"

What does that even mean? I don't care, but I like it. It doesn't have to make sense to me with Ween and that's what draws me in more and more.

To round out this collection of delights is "Fluffy". It's about a dog because every country record needs a tune about a dog right? What's better is that it's a song about a dog "on the porch". When I first got this disc I didn't care much for "Fluffy", but now I love it because of how 'brown' the song is. A few years back at a Ween show "Fluffy" was the encore and lasted a good 20 minutes. Swirls of electric slide guitar and dirty solos made me appreciate the song about a guy and his dog on the porch. Man's best friend right?

12 Golden Country Greats will forever be in my heavy rotation and I could never give up this original release. I mean who doesn't like Muhammed Ali?

I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.

Muhammad Ali